Therapy
by Alphawolf69
Summary: The course of true love never runs smoothly, but sometimes people need a helping hand. Shizuru and Natsuki struggle with the aftermath of the Carnival’s revelations -and their love for each other. Hopefully therapy will be enough. Shiznat, femslash etc.
1. Session 1: Fujino Shizuru

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HIME. I do own the therapist in this story though. And the receptionist (maybe Sunrise would trade her for Shizuru?). Originally written as part of the International Day (or Weekend) of Femslash 08. Yes, I am very late.

Author's Note: Bear in mind that Shizuru cannot tell the truth about the Carnival (a sure-fire way to be pronounced clinically insane), so she will be _**lying**_. It doesn't mean this universe is AU or that I'm a lazy sod who couldn't be bothered to watch the series. So no reviews going; 'WTF, that never happened!?'

Also, I decided that because the therapist is a foreigner and doesn't speak Kyoto-ben, that any words specific to (Shizuru) that dialect will not be translated into English, though other general words or phrases such as 'Hai' or 'So dess ka' will be so as not to jar the pants off everyone. Words like 'Ara' or 'Ookini' just seem a part of Shizuru's identity; I didn't think I could leave them out, so they'll be left in. Other Japanese words will appear if there isn't a suitable substitute-translation.

BTW, the therapist also sticks to using Miss/Ms/Mr titles for people for three reasons; 1) because they are not fully fluent in Japanese and aren't completely certain about correct kun/chan/san/sama/sensei usage (that's why their speech is so formal), 2) because they are a pretty polite person anyway and 3) (this is the main reason) because I decided as an author that it would make it clearer whoever is talking.

Finally: (sorry about the long author's note) I have never been in therapy and only have an A-level in Psychology. This barely qualifies me to _glance_ at someone in a psychologically evaluative way, let alone try to talk them through their issues. Basically don't tear my head off if the therapy procedure sounds like complete and utter bollocks, I'm just going off of books and TV here (potential recipe for disaster).

Read and review.

Session 1 – Fujino Shizuru

A steady knock sounds at the door.

"Come in." A calm voice calls.

The door swings open quietly and closes.

"Ah, a new face –come in. You must be my one o'clock. I'm Dr. Tetsuo; good day Miss Fujino…?"

"Shizuru." There is a rustling of clothing as though a bow is being performed. "Fujino Shizuru. I am pleased to make your acquaintance –Tetsuo-senpai." The flawlessly polite and elegant voice continues smoothly with only the barest of hesitations. "Please take care of me."

"You seem surprised Miss Fujino, is something the matter?"

"Of course not Tetsuo-senpai, please forgive my rudeness."

"…I see. Perhaps it would not be too far off the mark to say you did not expect a foreigner to bear the name 'Tetsuo'?"

"I apologise for any offence I have caused, Tetsuo-senpai." Another rustling of cloth.

"Please Miss Fujino, there is nothing to apologise for." A wry note creeps into the voice. "You have been politer about the matter than most." A pause. "'Tetsuo' is my partner's surname. I decided to take it on as my own upon our marriage."

"You do not have to explain yourself to me Tetsuo-senpai, but thank you."

"Not at all." The gentle voice assures. "Though I believe we've spent enough of your time on me." A slight creak of leather as though someone is leaning forward. "Please be seated wherever you wish Miss Fujino." Another, louder creak and some rustling is heard, as though someone has made themselves comfortable. "Now, why is it you have come to see me?"

"Ara, so straight to the point Tetsuo-senpai."

"You sound wistful, Miss Fujino." The older voice notes.

A startled pause.

"I…Tetsuo-senpai reminded me of someone I know."

"Are you close to this person?"

"Close...We used to…but…I no longer know…"

"Why is that?"

"I hurt her."

"I see. How do you think you hurt her?"

"I…"

There is a pained silence.

"Miss Fujino?"

"I would be grateful if I could have a drink, Tetsuo-senpai. I find myself terribly thirsty."

"Of course. Do you have any preference?"

"Tea, if Tetsuo-senpai has any."

"I believe my secretary has green tea or oolong."

"Oolong, please."

"Of course."

There is a fraction of a pause.

"Miss Fujino…I want you to know there is no need for you to hide behind your perfect mask of politeness here. You are completely safe; the matters you choose to discuss with me are entirely confidential and will not leave this room. I want to _help_ you...but you must **let** me do so." A chair is pushed back, loudly scraping along the floor. "Please excuse me for a moment."

A door opens and closes quickly. Silence reigns for a moment, and then a shaky exhalation of air is audible, followed by a muted nervous swallow.

Several minutes pass before the door swiftly opens again.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Not at all. Ookini for the tea, Tetsuo-senpai." The younger voice is unruffled, no trace of distress disturbing it.

"Ah, I thought I recognised your accent. Kyoto-ben is it not?"

"How perceptive Tetsuo-senpai is. Your own is British I believe?"

"Indeed Miss Fujino –though a surprising number of people have mistaken me for an American–, so I must apologise if I abuse your ears with my poor Japanese. I have lived in England most of my life."

"May I ask why Tetsuo-senpai left?"

An amused note enters the older voice at some private joke. "I wanted to see the world."

"And did you?"

"As they say in the West; '_The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry_', Miss Fujino."

The younger voice now sounds amused as well. "Indeed."

"But if they _hadn't_, I would not be here now in your delightful company, so I believe **some** good has come of it."

"Tetsuo-_sensei_ is wise indeed." The words are delivered with complete innocence.

"Ah! I am fortunate indeed if you feel comfortable enough to tease me." A delighted note enters the older voice.

"Tetsuo-sensei must be mistaken, for I was being entirely serious." Only a barest hint of laughter threatens to ruin the otherwise serious statement.

"Is that so? Then I _apologise_ _sincerely_, Miss Fujino." A considering pause, then the gentle voice continues less humorously; "Perhaps you can tell me what really brought you here this time, Miss Fujino. Without the evasions."

A tired sigh escapes the younger, suddenly more vulnerable, voice.

"It…it is hard Tetsuo-senpai, when you betray the one most precious to your heart."

"Is that what you believe you have done?"

"It is what I _**know**_ I have done."

"I see. And how did you betray this 'precious person'?"

"I…only wanted to protect her. To keep her safe. From everything and anyone who wished her harm." The younger, usually so serene voice is faster and less controlled, clearly desperate in its need to be understood. "To that end, I would do _**anything**_ to keep her from harm…but…" A quick, almost silent breath is drawn, "…in the end, it was _**I**_ who hurt her most of all."

"What was it you did?"

"I forced my unwanted feelings on her." Although the controlled voice sounds calm on the surface, underneath is an edge of deep-rooted pain.

"Please Miss Fujino…there is no need for tears. I am not here to judge you, or your actions." There is a creak of leather as someone stands and footsteps as they move lightly across the floor. "I am here to help you understand –and accept– them."

"Tetsuo-senpai is very kind." The words sound hollow and devoid of emotion.

"'Tetsuo' is very well paid," corrects the soothing voice with gentle humour. "also, she cannot bear to watch pretty girls cry." It lowers to a faux-conspiratorial whisper. "It is one of her greatest weaknesses."

A reluctant chuckle escapes.

"Ah, see. That is _much_ better. A smile suits you Miss Fujino; you should do so more often. Doctor's orders."

"Ookini, Tetsuo-senpai."

"It is nothing." The voice reassures. "Tell me about this 'precious person' of yours."

"She is not mine."

"I think you would agree she is more _your_ 'precious person' than mine, is she not?"

"...Yes."

"Then, if you would be so kind…?"

There is a tense silence, stretching to almost breaking point then:

"Her name is Natsuki."

"Hm, beautiful."

"Natsuki is very beautiful."

"I find it interesting you say that; especially as I was simply referring to her name."

"I…"

"Please do not feel embarrassed, Miss Fujino. Your feelings are perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of." A pause. "No matter what society might have you believe."

"…Ookini."

"Not at all, please, continue."

"I met Natsuki three and a half years ago…" a soft, happy note enters the girl's voice. "Natsuki was different to everyone else. So cold. So distant. So very beautiful." A dry chuckle. "Despite Natsuki's 'cool' personality…she has a very adorable blush…and is surprisingly easy to tease..." The younger voice sobers as the laughter fades away. "But I could see what Natsuki was hiding behind these masks...Natsuki was hurting and alone."

A pause.

"Forgive me, Miss Fujino, but I cannot help but notice that you are particularly articulate and intelligent for a girl of your age and –if I might be so bold– there is no denying your beauty or impeccable manners. Admittedly, my knowledge of the Japanese school system is somewhat lacking..but tell me, would I be correct in assuming you are quite…sought after at school? Admired? Perhaps you have –what is the word...stalkers? Obsessed fans? No, perhaps I mean admirers..." The older voice muses, clearly struggling with the translation.

"No more than Kanzaki-san or Natsuki…" The younger voice sounds as though its owner may be concealing a smile. "Although Natsuki's admirers keep their distance now, after her first, ah…incident…with Takeda-san."

"I believe you are being overly modest, Miss Fujino, but regardless, would I also be correct in concluding that these...admirers...? consider you to be 'perfect'?"

"Ara, Tetsuo-senpai, you flatter me." The younger voice takes on a teasing, falsely flustered tone.

"I doubt many things truly make you blush Miss Fujino." The calm voice replies, obviously amused despite itself. "But it must be quite a burden to bear the weight of so many people's expectations, must it not?"

A telling silence falls.

"Would I be also correct in inferring that you felt connected to Miss Natsuki because you understood what it was like to hide your loneliness behind a façade? That you wanted someone you could be yourself with, without them constantly expecting perfection? Someone who would treat you normally –a true friend."

A brief pause.

"Ara, Tetsuo-sensei is very perceptive." The words are light, but contain a faint note of strain.

"I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable Miss Fujino; I'm just trying to help you see where the root of your feelings for Miss Natsuki lie. A background if you will, to understand how things led to where we are today."

"I see." The words are flat; dull.

Neutrally; "You still feel lonely; do you not, Miss Fujino." It wasn't a question. "Will you tell me what happened?"

A tense pause.

"I fell in love." A shaky breath hisses out. "And Natsuki did not even seem aware of it." Another quick breath is drawn. "Natsuki has…_had_…a very heavy burden to bear. It kept her apart from everyone else. Natsuki refused to fully trust anyone. Even me. Although, I believe Natsuki let me come closer than most."

"Why do you think that?"

"There were times when the ice surrounding Natsuki melted…and I could see that she cared for me. I ran for the position of Student President so I would able to access the confidential files Natsuki needed for an important school project. Natsuki had not asked me to do such a thing; I believe it never occurred to her...But when she found out I had won…Natsuki didn't even ask about the higher access levels. She was just pleased _I_ had succeeded in the competition. Natsuki was proud of **me**." A note of true happiness lights the girl's words. "…later I discovered I was also _her_ most precious person."

"I find myself at a loss, Miss Fujino." A definite note of confusion is audible in the calm voice. "If you are both each others 'precious person', as you say…how can your feelings be unwelcome?"

"My love and Natsuki's love are different." The words are flat and filled with a deep pain.

"Is that so." The tone is completely neutral. "And how does your 'betrayal' come into all of this?"

"Natsuki was injured in a gang fight; she was badly hurt. I fought off Natsuki's attackers and rescued her."

"I am impressed Miss Fujino, you must be extremely skilled."

"My father insisted I receive naginata training since childhood."

"A difficult weapon to master I'm told. But extremely good for building discipline."

The words: _but not a weapon one generally carries around for casual usage_, hang unspoken.

"Just so." A faintly amused note teases at the edges of the elegant voice. The silent question remains unanswered. "Natsuki was barely conscious when I finally saved her, but I knew that she hated hospitals –and the questions they ask…so I took Natsuki to a place where no one would find her…a safe place…" The words trail off into silence.

"What happened at this place, Miss Fujino?"

"I-I was worried about Natsuki. Her injuries weren't serious, but most of the time she was unconscious or barely coherent. I had to change her out of her torn clothing into a kimono…and I, I **enjoyed** it." An almost palpable loathing colours the words. "I _enjoyed_ Natsuki letting me look after her. I _enjoyed_ caring for her. I _enjoyed_ pretending. I did not want us to leave the sanctuary I'd brought us to…"

"I understand, you wished to protect your friend." The older voice calmly assures. "There is nothing to feel guilty about for that, Miss Fujino. Then what happened?"

"Natsuki woke up. And asked me why I was looking after her. I told Natsuki that she was my friend and I loved her and-and Natsuki told me that she loved me too…but I knew…" The words trail off.

"What did you know?"

The voice is barely above a whisper and trembles with tears. "That our loves were…different…and Natsuki would never love me the way I longed for her to."

"Miss Fujino." The words are merely a reminder that the speaker is not alone.

"It was evening when I brought Natsuki tea…the sun was setting and the light reflected perfectly off her beautiful hair…Natsuki had fallen asleep…I only wanted her to come inside from the cold, but…" The sentences are disjointed, as though their speaker is barely aware of the words spoken as they relive the moment. "As I leant over, Natsuki's lips were slightly parted…as though begging me to…I could not stop myself." A shuddering breath is drawn. "I-I stroked Natsuki's cheek…so soft…then, then I leant in…and I…_**kissed her**_." The breath is violently released in a ragged sob. "Kanin na, Natsuki! Kanin na! Please…please…kanin na Natsuki…"

The only audible sound is that of heartbroken sobbing.

"Miss Fujino…"

There is a frantic flurry of movement as someone stands and flees the room as the door slams violently shut.

There is a silence.

Then a deep, regretful sigh followed by a loud creak as though someone is leaning back in a stiff chair.

An intrusive buzz interrupts the heavy silence.

"Yes, Ms. Saki? What is it?"

"Tetsuo-senpai, your two-fifteen is here."

A brief pause as another tired sigh is smothered.

Sotto voce; "Of course he is." More loudly; "Thank you Ms. Saki, please send in Mr. Nakamoru."

"Yes, Tetsuo-senpai."

"Oh, and Ms. Saki…? Please inform me if Miss Fujino makes another appointment."


	2. Session 1: Kuga Natsuki

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Author Notes: Oicho-Kabu is a traditional Japanese gambling game similar to the Western games blackjack and baccarat. It is typically played with special kabufuda cards. A hanafuda deck (contains twelve suits, each representing a month, and has four cards allocated. Each month is designated a flower) can also be used, if the last two months are discarded. The goal of the game is to reach a total closest to 9 without going over. As in baccarat, the last digit of any total over 10 makes your hand: a 15 counts as 5, a 12 as 2, and a 20 as 0. I thought it might be more appropriate than just naming one of the card games I know like 'go fish' or something, so sorry if it isn't (more info on Wikipedia if you don't understand my notes).

Further note - The word yakuza originates from this game. The worst Oicho-Kabu hand is 8-9-3, or "ya-ku-sa". This gives a sum total of 20, or 0 points. Basically Yamada is making a (bad) joke, given Natsuki's bad-ass demeanour (and Nao's opinion of her).

Also, it should be noted that this chapter (purposefully) is **very **different in tone to the previous. Remember: Natsuki. Can. Be. Slow (grins).

Let me know what you think.

* * *

Session 1 – Kuga Natsuki 

The quiet murmur of voices and the clinking of glass fills the air.

"Oi." A young, husky voice announces itself confidently.

"Kuga. Long time."

"You too Yamada."

A silence falls, filled only by the background noises of what must be a bar.

"Something you wanted, Kuga?"

"N-no!" The denial is so adamant and instantaneous, that it is readily obvious that it is a lie.

"Kuga?" The rough, older voice sounds truly surprised for the first time.

A muted sigh of frustration escapes.

"…" The quietly muttered words are inaudible above the background noise.

"Speak up Kuga."

Louder, but more reluctantly; "_..._I need your help Yamada." The arrogant confidence has diminished, leaving the speaker sounded much younger and subdued.

"Why am I not surprised." The older voice sounds resigned, but there is an edge of concern carefully hidden. "Hit me then. What is it this time? An army of mecha-robots attacking the city? An alien invasion? A government plot to kidnap all the ex-HIMES for illegal experiments?"

"Shut up." The younger voice grouses irritably, sounding more like its normal tone. "No…it's more…p-personal…" Something makes it clear that the voice's owner is now blushing. "I mean, I wouldn't usually t-talk about it -_ever_- but it's been getting worse over the past weeks and I c-can't talk to Mai. Or any of the others…"

"What 'bout your girlfriend…Fujino-san, isn't it?"

There are several inarticulate choking-spluttering noises, then;

"I-IDIOT! SHE IS _NOT_ MY GIRLFRIEND!!" The bar falls silent. "What are you looking at?!" The voice snarls furiously.

Gradually the noise-level returns to normal.

"Still as excitable as ever, eh Kuga?" The older voice asks calmly. A sound of grinding teeth can be heard.

"Shut up Yamada." The tone is glacial enough to freeze blood.

"Just spit it out, Kuga."

"I…" A deep, fortifying breath is drawn, then quietly; "I've been having these weird dreams."

"You think they're connected to First District or the HIME star?"

"No. They're…ah, _**weird**_…"

"I'm no shrink, Kuga. Dreams aren't my area of expertise."

"I know, I know. But…I can't talk to anyone at school about this. Even Shizuru. Especially NOT Shizuru. She'd tease me until my head exploded." The younger voice holds an edge of desperation. "I need someone completely unconnected. No one can know about this. **No one**."

"…I'm still charging for my time."

"W-WHAT?!"

"Kuga, you are too _easy_."

"…Bastard." The younger voice growls, clearly not finding the joke at all amusing.

"Just tell me about the dreams."

A slight pause, the younger voice fumbling inarticulately for a few seconds, then;

"…Ah w-well…they've been happening since about four and a half months ago-"

"So after the Carnival ended."

"Hmh? Oh yeah, I guess so."

"Hhn." The grunt is non-committal.

"So, ah, anyway…they ah, all start the same…" The stress is obvious in the voice and a light, nervous tapping starts against a wooden surface. "I'm, well I'm in Fuuka. The Director's flower garden."

"The one with all the out-of-season roses?"

"How do you-? Never mind. Yeah, that one."

There is a long pause.

"And?"

"Oh! Right. Yeah, well. I'm standing in the rose garden. But I notice that all the roses have changed colour…like they've been dyed or something. Then-"

"What colour are they." The gruff voice interrupts calmly.

"Wha-?"

"What colour are the roses."

"Why do you care?"

Laconically; "_You_ seemed to care enough to comment on it."

"Ah, kind of blood-red I guess. It's kind of creepy."

"…Like the colour of Fujino-san's eyes, say."

"…Hnh." The sound is a surprised one, as the owner has only just realised something.

"So the roses are red. What else, Kuga? Blue violets?"

"Hm?" It is distracted, clearly occupied with something else and completely oblivious to the sarcasm. "Ah, sorry." The voice recollects itself and continues. "Six of the roses suddenly…grow. They're monster-sized…and their stems and leaves kind of turn purple."

"Purple." The voice is completely dead-pan.

"Weird, right? But…then it just gets weirder…" The younger voice sounds distinctly uncomfortable. "The roses-well they, they sprout vines and w-wrap them around my waist, wrists and ankles. And they're really, really strong. I can't move a muscle-but they're not hurting me. It's kind of…gentle."

"Like a...hug?"

"Ah, yeah, I suppose..."

"So you're being _hugged _by an army of six red and purple giant-monster roses."

"O-oi. Don't say it in 'that' tone."

"In what tone, Kuga?" The rough voice sounds stony, but there is a faint hint of amusement lurking beneath the surface.

"You know what I'm talking about." An unmistakeable warning growl colours the words.

"Fine, fine. Then what happens?"

"Well…it -they- talk to me."

"They talk to you." A pause as a loud sip is taken. "Who do they sound like?"

"Who do they-?"

"Who do the rose-voices sound like." The sentence is firmly repeated. "If they can talk, I'm assuming they have a voice. Do they sound like you, me, Sakomizu-san…?"

"No, they sound more like…they're from Kyoto."

"From Kyoto." The words are said completely straight-faced.

"Yeah, you know; '_Ara ara_'. Kyoto-ben."

There's an astonished silence.

Eventually, the gruffer voice manages; "...Like Fujino-san."

The other seems oblivious. "Yes! Exactly like Shizuru's voice."

"Right..." The older voice sounds as though it's trying to stifle some emotion. "...Well, which is it?"

"What?"

"Fujino's voice or Kyoto-ben."

A long silence.

"Kuga?"

"I-I guess they sound like-like, well, _Shizuru_." The young voice sounds honestly taken aback.

A dazed silence falls.

"So what do they say?"

"Who?"

"The roses with Fujino-san's voice." The brusque voice is surprisingly patient.

"Ah, they say; _Ara, beautiful flowers deserve to be loved; since they're doing their best to bloom in their short lives._"

"Hmh. That all?"

"Yeah."

"Hmh."

"Is that all you can say?!"

"What would like me to say?"

"I don't know!"

"Well, it sounds kind of ecchi to me, Kuga…"

"_**Yamada**_."

A sigh.

"Well, it is sometimes said that dreams are a way the mind works problems out."

"But what problem could my mind be trying to work out? I'm having dreams about giant roses with purple tentacle-vines, dammit!"

"Maybe it'll come to you…if you think about it hard enough." There is a faint hint of sarcasm colouring the older voice.

There is a loud snort of disgust. "I doubt it." The younger voice sounds sour.

A pause.

"Kuga…"

"Yeah?"

"Have you…forgiven her?"

A silence. The 'her' doesn't need to be elaborated.

"How can I blame her for something that was partly my fault?"

"Kuga?"

"If I had known…If I had _noticed_…" A shaky breath. "She shouldn't have had to bear that burden alone behind her cheerful smiles. She is my most precious person. I should've **seen** she was hurting because of me long _before_ the Carnival." A derisive snort of disgust is heard. "But when…when I finally _did _find out…I just hurt her even more. Because I was afraid. I was afraid of _myself_." A quiet self-loathing rings in the younger voice.

Another, longer silence.

Kindly; "Is something else bothering you, Kuga?"

"How did you-?"

"Don't ever let Yuuki-san hustle you into playing Oicho-Kabu. She'd make you a real Yakuza."

"Oi! Don't bring that stupid Spider into matters like this-!"

"I have twenty minutes before my next contact is due to arrive, Kuga." The older voice firmly cuts off the rant beginning to form.

"R-right." A long sigh. "I think…I think something's bothering Shizuru."

"Really." The neutral tone of the gruff voice makes it impossible to gauge what its owner might be thinking.

"Yeah. She's…not been like…like she was _before_," The emphasis makes explanation unnecessary. "But…she **really** started acting strangely about a week ago." The younger voice lowers in concern. "Depressed almost. She's barely teased me at all." A pensive pause. "And last Thursday…she told me she had a Student Council meeting at lunch, so I didn't need to wait for her to eat…"

"So?"

"I saw Kanzaki eating with Mai and Mikoto."

"Hmh."

"Yeah. I couldn't get him to admit there wasn't actually a meeting at all…but then Suzushiro-san marched up to him and demanded to know why Shizuru had 'calculated' their lunch-meeting."

"Weird."

"She meant cancelled. It's difficult to understand Suzushiro-san without Kikukawa-san around to translate sometimes."

"I was talking about Fujino-san."

"Oh right...well, I didn't see Shizuru for the rest of the day. I even stopped by her apartment that night, but the lights were out and she didn't answer the door. Or her cell."

"Maybe she had to cancel the meeting at the last minute. Someone in her family might be ill."

"Hnh." The noise is an obvious expression of doubt.

"Or maybe she's hooked up with a boyfriend."

"W-wha-?!"

"You're right, it's more likely a girlfriend, if her interest in you was any indication..."

There's a dangerous choking noise, as though someone is desperately struggling for air.

"Well, it fits. She probably got asked out for a lunch date, spent the rest of the day with him and then went for a movie or…" The gruff voice trails off, leaving an obvious alternative open.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT SHIZURU LIKE THAT!" The younger voice finally explodes; full of outraged fire and rage. "YOU DON'T KNOW HER! SHE WOULDN'T J-JUST-JUST _GO _TO ONE OF '_**THOSE**_' P-PLACES!!"

The bar has fallen fearfully silent.

"There's nothing wrong with Love Hotels. They're perfectly respectable." The older voice continues, unruffled. "And she's old enough to decide-"

There is a loud smash as glass splinters against a hard surface.

"Oi. Cool it, Kuga." The older voice states, a hint of steel creeping in. "I don't need you stirring up trouble and dragging the police in here before my contact arrives."

Several tense moments pass; only the ragged breathing of an angry person disrupting the tense silence.

"…_**Fine**_."

Heavy footsteps stomp gradually away, followed distantly by a loud slam as a door shuts.

A loud groan echoes through the room as everyone in the bar breathes a simultaneous sigh of relief.


	3. Session 2: Fujino Shizuru

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Author note: I hope this chapter is at least semi-coherent…we return to Shizuru's more angst-ridden mindset...  
BTW, I'm curious to know what people think of Dr. Tetsuo, as OCs are usually a hit and miss affair in fanfics. Is she annoying? Interesting? Full of it?  
Kudos will also go out to anyone who can tell me which anime and/or manga the character mentioned (who I firmly believe needs even more counselling than Shizuru) is from in this chapter. Hint: it's so easy Natsuki would suss it out on first try (grins).

Read and review.

* * *

Session 2 – Fujino Shizuru

A low buzz sounds.

"Tetsuo-senpai? Your one o'clock is here."

"Ah, thank you Ms. Saki. Please send her straight in."

A door eases open and light footsteps enter the room.

"Good afternoon, Miss Fujino." The older voice is warm, holding no recrimination or irritation.

"Good afternoon, Tetsuo-senpai." A rustle of cloth, as though someone is bowing. "Please let me apologise for my bad manners last week." Another rustle. "I hope you can forgive my behaviour."

A slight creak and scrape of chair legs as someone stands.

"Please Miss Fujino…I understand perfectly. There is nothing for you to apologise for –or for me to forgive."

"Tetsuo-sensei is very kind." A hint of playful mischief enters the elegant Kyoto-ben drawl.

"'Tetsuo' is still very well-paid." The older voice returns, obviously smiling before changing the subject. "But I am pleased that you decided to return, Miss Fujino. I believe continuing our sessions would be very beneficial for you."

"I trust you are correct, Tetsuo-senpai."

"Miss Fujino, do not stand on ceremony please, be seated."

"Thank you Tetsuo-senpai."

A brief silence as fabric rustles and creaks.

"I have some Oolong tea brewed, Miss Fujino, would you care for a cup?"

"Ara, I am very fortunate Tetsuo-sensei has learned my tastes so quickly." The younger voice states, in a faux-breathlessly teasing manner. "Ureshii."

"I do my best, Miss Fujino." The older voice replies deadpan, but sounding supremely amused.

There come the quiet sounds of cups clinking and the rush of water being poured.

"Ookini, Tetsuo-senpai."

"My pleasure, Miss Fujino."

A moment of companionable silence.

"Is there anything in particular you wish to discuss today, Miss Fujino?" The tone is patient, its owner clearly aware there is something waiting to break free from behind the wall of hesitation.

A slow breath is drawn in.

"My…betrayal of Natsuki was only the beginning of my sins that night." The words are carefully pronounced, as though each one needs special thought and attention.

"I see." The calm voice is neutral, giving no hint of its owner's reaction to the statement.

"Before I could…completely damn myself, someone cried out from bushes. Two classmates of mine from the Student Council had finally found us. I had not been in school for several days and they were concerned –Suzushiro-san that is…and Kikukawa-san, her…_friend_." A faint sneer colours the beautiful voice on the last word. "She was disgusted by me. They both were." The voice laughs darkly. "I could easily accept that, even expected it. I was disgusted with myself. I had twisted Natsuki's friendship into what I had desired it to be and deliberately ignored the fact she did not feel the same." A slow hiss. "Then she attacked my Natsuki with her ugly words. That I could not forgive. Natsuki was –is– innocent. I slapped her." The voice shifts, becoming cruel and amused. "Kikukawa-san did not like that at all. She accused me of…" A shaky breath. "Taking advantage of Natsuki. Of masquerading as her friend. She had been watching me –us."

The words fall away.

"What is Miss Kikukawa's precise relationship to Miss Suzushiro?" The subtle, but deliberate shift of focus away from the clearly more sensitive topic manages to provoke a response.

"They are each other's most precious person. Perhaps closer than Natsuki and I, in some ways…" There is distinct note of pain in the younger voice.

"I see." A delicate pause. "Would you say that they also harbour more than merely 'friendly' feelings towards each other?"

A dry laugh. "I am convinced of it." A sigh. "But Suzushiro-san is not…the most observant of people. I do not believe she is aware of the depth of her **own** feelings, let alone Kikukawa-san's."

"Do you sympathise with Miss Kikukawa then?"

Sardonic laughter fills the room. "Ara…Yes, I suppose I do. I owe Kikukawa-san that at least, for the pain I caused her and Suzushiro-san."

"I would not take their words to heart, Miss Fujino. They cannot know what you were thinking; _feeling_. They have no right to condemn you…Though it is sadly human nature to project confusion and fear –especially those caused by repressed emotions– onto others, than face it within themselves." The older voice suggests calmly.

"Perhaps, Tetsuo-senpai." The younger voice is neutral.

Seeming to sense the other's reticence, the serene voice changes the subject again. "You said you hurt Miss Kikukawa and Suzushiro?"

A pained silence.

"I–that is…" A slow breath. "Natsuki had been listening. She…heard. _Everything_." Brokenly; "I had my naginata and I…threatened Kikukawa-san and Suzushiro-san. I didn't want them to…tell Natsuki." A pause. "But Natsuki tried to stop me…I tried…to explain, to make Natsuki **understand**…but she-she…" The elegant drawl falters, filling with tears. "She was _afraid_ of me. The look in Natsuki's eyes was… horror. Natsuki was disgusted by me, just as I knew she would be. She didn't want me near her." Shaky, ragged breathing exhales slowly. "I think I died." Barely a whisper, the words are hauntingly empty. "I think Natsuki killed me."

There is a tense, unhappy silence, before finally;

"A part of me rose from the ashes that night." The Kyoto-ben is hushed with strain. "A dark, ugly part that I wish had never been released. It –**I**– did terrible things, for Natsuki's sake. I couldn't stop myself –I did not **want** to stop."

"What happened?" The older voice is calm and gently encouraging.

"I attacked Kikukawa-san and Suzushiro-san." The tone is flat and frighteningly cold. "It was surprisingly easy to defeat them both. Natsuki tried to stop me, I think…but I couldn't hear her. Nothing made sense, over the screaming of the demon inside my head. "

"What did your demon say?"

"…She…she wanted to hurt anyone who threatened Natsuki. To prevent anyone from **ever** harming her again."

"Guilt and sorrow can be powerful motivators Miss Fujino. You were trying to atone for hurting Miss Natsuki, were you not?"

"I-yes."

"Who else did you perceive as a threat, Miss Fujino?"

"I hunted down the pathetic gang who dared attack her." Pitilessly; "I punished them. All of them."

Neutrally; "How did you feel afterwards?"

"It…was not enough. I wanted Natsuki. If she was with me then I could be assured of her safety. Natsuki wouldn't be able to leave me."

"I see. Tell me Miss Fujino, which was it you feared more? Miss Natsuki being harmed, or her abandoning you?"

A stunned silence.

"I-I…"

The words falter and die away.

"Perhaps you should think more on the matter at a later time." The older voice suggests, slowly. "The desire for vengeance is –if simplified down to its core– a negative manifestation of frustrated emotions. Objectively, and with hindsight, it is always easier to trace back the path of behaviour and understand its origins." A considering pause and slow inhalation. "As human beings this allows us to gain experience and learn from our mistakes; our failings. To become stronger and more capable of handling our emotions and be aware of exactly **what** and _why_ we feel what we are feeling. If we are able to understand our darkest emotions and impulses…this gives us a power over them; we are no longer in thrall to their tidal pull, but instead able to fight against the waves of irrationality and make our own decisions."

An even more stunned silence.

"I-yes. Of…of course, Tetsuo-senpai."

"While it is important to consider the reasons behind the way we act Miss Fujino, especially when such uncharacteristic –not to mention reprehensible– reactions are engendered…but do not completely castigate yourself for actions which were at heart, kindly intentioned. Despite yielding selfish consequences such as the safety of Miss Natsuki. No one is perfect –and human beings as a species err on the side of self interest more often than not, as ugly as it sounds." The words offer cautionary empathy and understanding without the harshness of a rebuke.

"I…I understand Tetsuo-senpai."

"Good." Kindly; "Put it out of your mind for the moment; my apologies for lecturing you." A shuffling sound of papers being re-arranged. Then, more objectively; "Now, as you were saying?"

A brief pause.

"In the end…Natsuki found **me** first. We fought, but _I_ finally caught her. Natsuki was finally mine and she was safe. She was in my arms…and yet…my heart still ached. So much." The younger voice sounded lost. "But Natsuki saved me. It was enough to pierce the veil of insanity covering my mind; to silence the raging demon."

"How did she save you?" A curious note enters the voice.

"Natsuki…kissed me." A sigh. "She told me…told me that I had been the first real friend she had ever had; that she loved me for it, that she was happy I loved her, but her…her love wasn't the same as mine." Conflicting joy and sadness wars within the voice. "I knew that Natsuki could not…that she wouldn't…" A tired sigh. "...I had hoped foolish things. But still Natsuki forgave me. For all my sins." Slowly; "I do not believe I have ever felt so fulfilled. Or so unworthy." A sad sigh. "I have attempted to atone for my mistakes, but it is…difficult being so close to Natsuki. She…flinches when I come too near her. I make Natsuki uncomfortable. She claims she is fine, but…sometimes I still see the fear in her eyes…"

"I imagine the shock of discovering that your best friend is in love with you would take some time adjusting to."

"It has been four and a half months."

"Emotions are complicated things, Miss Fujino –as you already are aware. It is impossible to gauge how long the wounds they cause will take to heal."

"I would wait forever for Natsuki."

"Your loyalty does you credit Miss Fujino, though as your psychologist I feel I must point out that your fixation upon Miss Natsuki is obviously detrimental to your psychological health. Attacking people out of the pain of rejection –however deserved or undeserved their actions might be? Lashing out at the object of your affection herself? Losing your sense of humanity?"

A charged silence.

"There is no need to glare at me, Miss Fujino. I have no motivation in hurting you, but I must state the facts." A pause. "And the facts remain that Miss Natsuki is a young –and I take it, attractive– woman, who is likely to eventually find someone she is attracted to and choose to spend more time with to form a romantic relationship. How will you cope then? Will your demon rear her head again? Will she decide Miss Natsuki needs 'protecting' from this new 'threat'?"

"I-"

"Miss Natsuki would leave you with no chance of return if you attempted such a thing –you would not be granted forgiveness. Make a mistake once and it can be seen as lapse in judgement, especially if you strive to correct it. Do so again and you must be held accountable for your actions. She would leave you completely. Even more serious is the likelihood of police involvement and arrest. Assault is frowned upon in all societies."

"I…"

"I believe it would be best if you distanced yourself –to a degree– while you deal with this one-sided emotional dependency you have upon her." More gently; "It is for both your sakes. For your own sanity and for Miss Natsuki's future happiness. You will, at least, retain your friendship."

A choked, pained noise.

"I apologise for upsetting you, Miss Fujino. It was not my intention." Kindly; "You must also forgive _yourself_ for your actions, you know."

"…I…don't know how I can…" The younger voice is trembling and small.

"First you must accept that you are human. '_To err is human_', as they say. I know this is hard; you are accustomed to perfection within yourself and being the master of your feelings and behaviour…but love is an impossible beast to tame. Even the best of us stumble and make incredibly foolhardy decisions when caught up on its wild ride."

"…I have always been in control. Even as a child, I was composed, ladylike. My parents adored me." A small, tired sigh. "My mother passed away when I was five. Pneumonia, I believe. She had always been fragile. My father became withdrawn and obsessed with _playing_ with his many mistresses." Bitterly; "He had no time for me anymore. Yet he still expected; **demanded** me to be perfect. To be like _her_." A calming breath is sucked in. "Nothing…has ever shaken me or truly made me afraid like my feelings for Natsuki. She makes me feel alive. With her I can breathe easily for the first time in my life."

"Miss Natsuki must be an exceptional person."

"Natsuki is Natsuki." A warmth enters the elegant voice. "She is perfect without even trying."

"No one is perfect, Miss Fujino. It's important you accept that. Then you will be able to come to terms with the fact that everyone makes mistakes and has to relinquish control sometimes. If I remember correctly; '_forgiveness is to set free a prisoner –__and realise that the prisoner was you_'."

"Ara, Tetsuo-sensei is becoming very philosophical, is she considering a vocation change to join a Shinto shrine?"

"Mock me if you wish, Miss Fujino." The older voice sounds completely unruffled, but faintly amused. "But think on this: would Miss Natsuki **want** you to keep berating yourself for something that was done to her, if she herself has already forgiven you for it?"

A taken aback silence.

The calm voice continues. "I am not claiming that you do not still have a responsibility to make amends for your actions; especially towards Misses Suzushiro and Kikukawa, but you must come to terms with the fact that what is done and in the past cannot be altered. The best you –or anyone– can do is accept you what you have done is wrong, deal with the consequences and ensure it never happens again. It is _your_ life Miss Fujino. It is up to _you_ to make what you will of it."

A loud buzz interrupts.

A barely-concealed sigh of irritation.

"Yes, Ms. Saki?"

"I'm sorry for interrupting, Tetsuo-senpai, but you've overrun…Your two-thirty is waiting."

"I see. Thank you Ms. Saki –please give Ms. Himemiya my apologies. I will see her in a minute."

"Yes Tetsuo-senpai."

A rustle of cloth as someone stands.

"I apologise for taking up so much of your time, Tetsuo-senpai."

A chair creaks as it is pushed back.

"Not at all, Miss Fujino. Please make another appointment with Ms. Saki on your way out."

"Ookini, Tetsuo-senpai. For the wonderful tea as well."

"It is my pleasure Miss Fujino, on all counts. And please, consider what we have discussed today."

There is no reply as the door opens and shuts gently.


	4. Session 2: Kuga Natsuki

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1.

**Author's note:** Apologies for the delay -I've been jobhunting (which I think says it all at the moment, does it? -rolls eyes-).

Thank you to those who reviewed, gave me their perspectives or favourited this story last chapter. I really appreciate it (smiles)  
I considered including a part of my story that was previously edited out to make certain aspects less omniscient and others more realistic, but then realised that it would complicate the story beyond tolerable limits and also require a serious re-write (which I'm unprepared to do). Even so, I did value your input.  
Btw, someone commented that Tetsuo seemed mercenary (laughs) I hadn't intended that at all, the comment about being well paid is designed to put Shizuru at ease; making her feel more comfortable by easing the serious emotional tone of conversation towards more a lighthearted one. Breaking the tension of a situation often does wonders for someone's mood (shrugs) At least that was the idea.

Kudos to everyone who guessed correctly about the 'mystery patient', it was indeed Miss Himemiya Chikane from Kannazuki no Miko! I'm curious why a lot of lesbians in shojo-ai/yuri manga/anime seem to have severe emotional problems (Chikane, Shizuma, from Strawberry Panic! anyone?) or are chronic flirts (hm, this also applies to Shizuma...and of course, Chizuru Yoshida from HEN).

* * *

Session 2 – Kuga Natsuki

The soft sounds of sipping and swallowing and muted background murmurs fills the room. Occasionally there comes the gentle clink of glasses knocking together.

"I followed her." A flat voice states abruptly, as though materialising out of the shadows .

"Kuga!" There is the sound of a glass being knocked over.

"Jumpy, Yamada?" The younger voice sounds slightly smug.

"Hmh." The gruffer voice mutters. "Followed who?"

"Shizuru."

"Fujino-san? Why?"

"Why? It's all _your_ fault, idiot! You put weird stuff in my head! I had to check she was alright!" More quietly; "I think…I think she's been avoiding me."

"Really." The older voice might be amused, but it is impossible to tell from their tone. "And what did your stalking reveal?"

"Well I-OI! I wasn't **stalking**!"

"Sure, sure. Now tell me, what _did_ you find out while following Fujino-san around obsessively and closely monitoring her activities." A beat. "_Without _her knowledge." The sarcasm this time, is obvious.

It seems completely lost on its intended target.

"She went to a classy rented apartment block in Fuuka's central business district. Stayed there for about an hour and a half." The voice rose in concern. "She came out looking…small." A slow, measured breath; "Lost…almost…like she was…_before_."

"Hmh?" The rough voice actually sounds surprised. And maybe a little worried.

"…I-I think you were right. Shizuru does have a boyfriend. G-girlfriend. But–! He's...she's...obviously abusing Shizuru! She's unhappy all the time –I can tell! And she never spends as much time with me as before! She gives me that blank 'ara ara, what could possibly be wrong' smile and makes up pathetic excuses not to have me around!" A loud thwack resonated as though a hand had been slapped firmly down on a solid surface. "Here's his –her– address. I want you to find out who he –she-ARGH, _WHATEVER_–!– are and what the **hell** they want with Shizuru."

"Kuga…are you sure you want to do this?"

"I can't let Shizuru find out about me hanging around there." The younger voice drops, becoming softer and more introspective; almost a whisper. "…And for my precious person, I would do **anything**." Then the voice hardens dangerously, becoming glacial cold and frighteningly inhuman. "If the _bastard_ thinks they can get away with hurting Shizuru, I'll blow their damn kneecaps off."

A brief silence.

"…Fine, fine. I'll do it. Same charge as before."

"Thanks, Yamada."

"No problem Kuga." A quiet gulp of some liquid is heard, then a glass clinks down on a wooden surface. "Was there something else?"

"…Um…" An embarrassed cough. "Yeah."

A stifled sigh.

"Why don't you sit down? I've got about forty minutes before my client turns up."

"Thanks." A scraping sound is audible as a stool is dragged up.

"So?"

"Well…" The younger voice is mumbling, clearly uncomfortable. "Remember what I told you last time? About the…" The voice lowers in embarrassment; "dream?"

"How could I forget." The gruff voice deadpans.

"Well they're…" A strangled note enters the younger voice. "Ah, getting…worse."

"Worse?"

"W-well…" The words trail off into silent reverie then suddenly; "GAH!"

"Kuga!! You're bleeding!" There come series of frantic rustling and shuffling, as well as the scraping of wood along the floor.

"Dammit! I'm fine, Yamada. Stop being an old woman. It's just a nosebleed. I–must've hit my nose earlier, or something."

"Damn, Kuga…you had me worried there for a minute."

"It's nothing, I'm fine." The younger voice is definitely irritated…and embarrassed.

"If you're sure."

"I am." The tone is brusque and brooks no argument.

An awkward silence follows while a bruised ego tries to recover its dignity.

"Well, Kuga?"

"Ah…Well…T-the dreams are exactly the same as before." The younger voice breathes finally, sounding defeated. "But…a-after they –the roses– speak to me…another…another one sprouts, right in front of me…"

"Same colour?"

"That's just it…this flower is different. It's huge. Bigger than all the other ones. And its petals are closed."

"Closed?" A small sip is taken and swallowed.

"Y-yeah."

"And?"

"They, ah well…the petals, they…peel o-open…" A painful amount of embarrassment is straining the younger voice; it is easily to imagine its owner's face a bright tomato-red. "…"

"Kuga?"

"…"

"Dammit -speak up Kuga, I can't hear a word you're saying."

"I SAID-!" The younger voice begins furiously, then checks itself as the bar falls warily silent. "I _**said**_, that S-shizuru-she-I mean-"

"You alright there, Kuga? Your face has gone a funny colour…"

"Shizuru-is-inside-all-curled-up-but-she-she-she's-N-N-NAKED-!" The strangled, _mortified_ rapidly-spoken whisper is immediately covered by the sound of someone spitting out of mouthful of liquid and spluttering helplessly.

"K-K-Kuga?!"

"Dammit you idiot, you heard me the first time!" The younger voice hisses, clearly angry and thoroughly flustered.

"_I_-" The older voice coughs, their pitch abruptly returning to their normal gruffness. "**I**-see. And then you woke up?" It sounds as though a faint hint of hope is hiding behind the voice's studied indifference.

"Ah…no…"

"Bartender-san. Double scotch. Straight up –no ice." The voice orders, raising its volume. "Thanks."

"Yamada?"

"I just need a drink Kuga." Sotto voce; "_A really big one_." A loud gulp follows. "–Hah. Now. Out with it."

A defeated sigh.

"…R-right." A nervous swallow. "W-well…S-shizuru is all c-curled up and–" The strangled note returns. "–s-she opens her e-eyes…and she…l-looks at me…then, then she smiles." The strangled note has changed to one of childlike awe. "She stares right into my eyes –**into me**– and she _smiles_."

There's a tense pause as the words –almost audibly– fight to emerge into the light for the first time.

"Kuga…?"

"She leans forwards –_towards me_– and I–" A breath catches and holds. "I wake up."

A tense silence falls.

"No one has ever looked at me like she does, Yamada." The words are quiet, simple and completely heartfelt. "I-it hurts…" But also confused. "It hurts so _damn_ much."

"What does, Kuga?"

"**This**." A dull thump of flesh being hit is heard.

"…That's your heart, Kuga."

A pained silence.

"…I know." Quietly; "Why does it hurt so much, Yamada?"

"I th…" The older voice's words are cut off as a stool is suddenly pushed back, screeching along the floor.

"I won't lose anyone else again." A vow.

Soft footsteps retreat rapidly, vanishing into nothing.

A tired sigh escapes.

And the lost words return, spoken only to the echoing silence.

"I think you already know why, Natsuki…but I don't know if you're ready to realise that yet."


	5. Session 3: Fujino Shizuru

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:** …zzz…ur-? (jerks awake) I'm up, I'm up…  
Good news is - I **got** a job!  
Bad news is - I got a **job**!

BY THE WAY!!! This chapter is a cliff-hanger, though not obviously so. I just mean that the end of the chapter **isn't** the end of the 'session'. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter up sooner. Depends on...work...(sighs) My life as an adult is definitely underway...I'm decidedly ambivalent about it...

* * *

Session 3 – Fujino Shizuru

The door creaks open.

"Good afternoon, Tetsuo-senpai."

A rustle of clothing.

"Ah, good afternoon Miss Fujino, on time I see -as expected. Please, be seated." The voice is warm and friendly.

"Ookini Tetsuo-senpai." The smooth Kyoto-ben is laced with tiredness.

A shifting of clothing and fabric.

"Are you well, Miss Fujino? You seem…pale."

"Tetsuo-sensei ikezu…" The younger voice's tone is wounded, almost on the edge of tears. "You shouldn't say such things to a sensitive young woman…"

"Miss Fujino…" The older voice sighs compassionately. "Please do not hide behind that façade with me. I believe at this juncture you can trust me, can you not?"

Silence.

Then, more seriously; "Kanin na, Tetsuo-senpai."

"Of course, Miss Fuji-"

"No." More warmly; "I would like Tetsuo-senpai to call me Shizuru."

"I-of course, Miss Shizuru." The older voice sounds surprised, but pleased.

A comfortable pause.

"Does Tetsuo-senpai not have any tea to offer me today?" A fake sniff. "Mou, I had believed Tetsuo-senpai knew my tastes…"

An amused snort.

Dryly; "Oh, heaven forbid I forget your tea." The chair creaks as it is pushed back. "Please excuse me a moment."

The door opens and closes.

An amused –and mischievous– chuckle slips free.

Several minutes pass before the door re-opens again.

"Here you are, Miss Shizuru." There is the gentle clink of ceramic.

"Ookini Tetsuo-senpai." A delicate sip is taken. "It tastes wonderful."

"Ah, thank you, though I fear I cannot take credit. Ms. Saki is in charge of the tea making here." With some embarrassment; "At home I'm not permitted within a two meter radius of kitchen…I never was quite forgiven for burning a salad…"

"Ara, my ears must have deceived me…did Tetsuo-sensei say she _burned_ salad?"

"Ah…my culinary skills are –unfortunately– quite infamous."

A brief silence, then laughter bubbles forth.

"Ara, Tetsuo-senpai reminds me of Natsuki. I remember a time she tried…to…" The amusement tails off rapidly and sobers.

"Miss Shizuru? Is something the matter?"

A miserable silence.

"…Yes."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Quietly; "Yes."

"Then whenever you feel ready."

Several long moments of fortifying silence then, a steadying breath is drawn.

"I have been following Tetsuo-senpai's advice; spending less time with Natsuki…avoiding her."

"I see."

"It hurts. And I can see that it hurts Natsuki too. Natsuki has been…very sweet to me these last several weeks. The pain in Natsuki's eyes when I make excuses to avoid being with her, hurts me."

"I'm sorry that this causes you both pain, Miss Shizuru. I truly believe that it is for the best, at least until you have come to contain the strength of your feelings."

"I understand, Tetsuo-senpai. I could bear it if it was only myself I was hurting…but Natsuki…I swore I would never hurt Natsuki again…"

"Sometimes we must be cruel to be kind, Miss Shizuru." The older voice is regretful.

"I won't ever stop loving Natsuki."

Gently; "I did not say that you should."

"Tetsuo-senpai…?"

"It is natural to love those you care for, Miss Shizuru. Healthy, even. Miss Natsuki loves you, does she not?"

"…Yes."

"Precisely. There are many different kinds of love -and we all love in different ways." A creak of leather as someone leans forward. "There are those would give a great deal to have a friend platonically love them as much as Miss Natsuki does you." A pause. "Desiring the unattainable is not an uncommon human flaw, but unfortunately can be very destructive if not carefully reined in by reason."

Silence.

"You're…right, Tetsuo-senpai."

"Eventually, you will master your emotions. I promise. All that is needed is time, and you are still young yet. While it may feel as if you shall never love again that will by no means be the case, I can assure you."

A shaky exhalation hisses out, not-quite covering the sound of a choked sniff.

"Miss Shizuru?"

There is a quiet creak as the chair is pushed back and then the sound of footsteps moving across the room towards the small pain-filled sounds.

"Everything will sort itself out eventually. You'll see."


	6. Session 3: Kuga Natsuki

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1.

**Author's note:** Apologies for the ridiculous delay (I know this is a short chapter, I promise the next is much longer). Settling in at work has been very time-consuming. But on the bright side, I'm almost finished with this story…Just one more chapter after this…

* * *

Session 3 – Kuga Natsuki

A soft thud as someone eases onto a stool.

"What do you know." The arrogant voice isn't asking, it's _demanding_ information.

There's a quiet sound of paper smoothly sliding over polished wood.

"Dr. Tetsuo Alexis. A psychologist from England."

"Psychologist?" A sharp hiss of displeasure. "Sick _bastard_."

There is the rustling of paper being shuffled.

"If you're looking for insults, 'bitch' would be more accurate, actually."

The shuffling pauses.

"What-?"

"Files state that the doctor is _female_. Graduated Oxford University with a Ph.D in Psychology five years ago; top of her class. She's been in Japan three years or so, since she married –and moved to Fuuka from Tokyo ten months ago."

There's a stunned and somewhat perplexed silence.

"W-what does she…look like?"

"Kuga?"

"You **heard** me, Yamada."

"My sources say she's tall; long black hair-"

The paper rustling starts again -sounding more frantic than before.

"-Green eyes..." The younger voice interrupts, sounding utterly crushed.

"And green eyes -here, I have some surveillance photos somewhere…" The older voice continues absently for a moment, then stops.

A surprised pause.

"Wait. How did-? Oh, there they are. Quite a looker, isn't she? Reminds me a bit of your mother…"

"S-she's…found someone else." The words are softly spoken and full of heartbreak. "W-why didn't she just…more time…that's all…couldn't she see-?"

"Hmh?" The gruffer voice is clearly taken aback. "Actually Kuga, I-"

But anger rears its head, ugly and loud, cutting the words off.

"**_DAMN_** **_IT_**!"

The shout and angry thump of a fist impacting into wood cuts off the older voice's next words.

"That **bitch** thinks she can take advantage while Shizuru is vulnerable!? Preying on her fragile emotions?"

"Kuga, I really don't-"

"I'm-going-to-kick-her-skanky-gaijin-ass." The words are viciously growled; their owner clearly beyond reason.

"Kuga, calm down-!"

"**_Don't tell me to _**_**calm down****!**_" A ragged breath drags heavily through lungs. "I'm going."

"No, Kuga, just _listen _to m-!"

"No! **You **listen to _me_! I'm going to protect Shizuru!" The righteous anger falters, its owner sounding younger and uncertain again. "I _can't_…"

Words hang unspoken on the air, but both know what is left unsaid.

_I can't lose her_.

Then footsteps are quickly disappearing. A door distantly slams with enough force to make all the windows rattle in protest.

A completely exasperated sigh escapes, followed by a dull thud; as though someone has banged their head against a hard surface.

"Dammit Natsuki…"

A loud gulg of liquid is heard, followed by a hoarse cough.

"-You have the _worst _timing…"


	7. Session 4: Group

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1.

**Dedication:** This chapter is dedicated to Ivy and Blue. I miss you both.

**Author Notes:** Sorry for the ridiculous delay; I actually forgot I hadn't posted this chapter yet...and I was dreading doing it. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this experimentation of mine, I know it's been slow paced, so thanks for sticking with it. It has been very interesting seeing people's different reactions. This is the final instalment in the 'Therapy' series; I hope you've enjoyed it.

**Side note:** I read somewhere that the suffix address for doctors was '-senpai', if this is wrong, my sincere apologies. It's too complicated to go back and change it all now if I made a mistake.

Read and review.

* * *

Session 4 – Group Therapy

"Excuse me, do you have an appointment?" A polite voice inquires, the barest hint of unease lurking behind its professionalism.

"Oh, I think Tetsuo will see me." A younger voice growls darkly.

"Tetsuo-**senpai** is with a client, you can't just-!"

A door is kicked viciously open and then slammed shut, cutting off the protests.

A moment of shocked silence.

"It seems I have an unscheduled visitor." A surprised voice remarks. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this interruption?"

"N-Natsuki…?" a stunned Kyoto-accented voice whispers.

"You!" Snarls the angry voice in a distinctly accusing tone, clearly missing the whisper and indeed, the presence of another person in the room. "Leave Shizuru the hell alone!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"_You damn well_-" The brash younger voice stalls and falters. "Sh-Shizuru?" Horrified; "O-oi! Get away from her, grandma! Hit on someone your **own** age!"

"Ah. You must be Miss Natsuki." The older voice is deceptively calm.

There is a rustling as someone stands and footsteps making their way towards the door.

"Hey, don't try to run away from me!"

The protest is ignored.

"Ms. Saki there is no need to contact the police, but please ensure that if my two o'clock arrives early they are told I am slightly behind schedule and will be with them as soon as possible. Make sure they are provided with enough refreshments."

"…O-of course, Tetsuo-senpai."

Warmly; "My thanks, Ms. Saki. I knew I could rely on your assistance."

The door is gently closed.

"Shizuru-"

"Natsuki-"

An awkward silence, then finally the older voice steps in;

"What exactly is it I can do for you, Miss Natsuki? As you can see, Miss Shizuru and I are in the middle of a _private_ session."

"Oh yeah, I **bet** you are." The younger voice is laced with bitterness.

"Good. Well, if you have nothing of importance to say I think you should go outside and wait until Miss Shizuru's appointment has finished." The still-calm voice adroitly ignores the insinuation.

"You think," the angry voice begins, its volume rising to a yell; "that I'm going to leave _**you**_ alone with Shizuru to do God knows what to her?! I won't let you hurt her anymore!"

"Natsuki."

There is a quiet rush of air as someone moves quickly and then a slight rustle of clothing as though someone is being held tightly.

"Shi-Shizuru!" The brash voice loses its rage, stuttering as though its owner is blushing profusely.

"Natsuki should not be rude to Tetsuo-senpai. She has been very kind to me."

"But-"

"Ara, I am flattered that Natsuki was so concerned for me that she thought to confront Tetsuo-senpai." This time there is an edge of teasing. "My cute, brave protector." A blissful sigh of happiness.

The younger voice sounds utterly mortified. "Shizuru!"

"I believe Miss Natsuki, that you have grossly misunderstood the situation." The older voice interjects patiently.

"Like _hell_ I have…" Grumbled the noticeably-less-angry voice.

"I am a psychologist. Miss Shizuru is my client. That is all." A frosty note enters the voice. "And I most certainly am **not** taking advantage of Miss Shizuru in any fashion." The frost hardens into ice. "Aside from the moral _and_ ethical restrictions of such a relationship, I am quite happily _**married**_."

"**Married**?!" Shock disbelief colours the voice. Then, a beat after, more softly as though speaking to itself; "-Wait, did he mention that…?"

Somewhat dryly, the older voice responds; "So my spouse delights in reminding me. With surprising frequency."

"But-but she's been acting weirdly…and looking really upset…" More quietly; "…even avoiding me…" Then more loudly; "A-AND that was _always_ after seeing **you**."

"Natsuki, I…" The elegant voice sounds pained and helpless to explain.

A sigh goes unheard by the two younger voices.

"It seems there is no help for it." Murmurs the older voice, as though to itself and then more loudly steps in, stemming the tide of fumbling sentences forming; "Are you familiar with the concept of 'projecting', Miss Natsuki?"

"What?" The confusion is clear.

"It is a commonly used Freudian term describing the attribution of one's own emotional state or attitudes onto others' behaviour."

"And what does _**that**_ have to do with me."

"Why don't you tell me." A pause. "Why was the first conclusion you leapt to when you discovered Miss Shizuru's sessions with me, one of a romantic or sexual nature?"

"I-that's, I mean, you can't-ah, well-"

The spluttering continues for several long seconds.

"Would I be correct in deducing that it is _you_ who have a romantic attachment to Miss Shizuru? That you are attracted to her and therefore assume others would share that attraction?"

A low gasp.

"N-Natsuki?" The Kyoto-ben sounds frail and almost tremulous.

"I-I-"

"It is nothing to be ashamed of, Miss Natsuki. On the contrary, in this case I would submit that the truth would be extremely beneficial for all parties concerned."

"Shut up dammit! Just-just shut **up**!"

"Perhaps you should see a doctor yourself about those bags under your eyes, Miss Natsuki. You appear quite worse the wear…having difficulty sleeping?" The older voice is light and casual, despite the unrelenting barrage of words it's unleashing. "Stress is most commonly the underlying factor behind insomnia, did you know? That, or a fear of sleeping." Musingly; "I wonder…perhaps you've been having some…troubling…dreams lately…?"

Dead silence.

"How do you know about _**those**_." The barely leashed horror threatens to engulf the suddenly hoarse voice.

"So I am correct?"

"HOW DID YOU KNOW!?" Roars the voice furiously.

"Natsuki, please…" Begs the elegant voice.

Silence, except for the harsh and rapid breathing of a single person.

"What…what's _happening_ to me…" The no-longer angry, but broken-sounding voice whispers. "Why does it _**hurt**_…"

"Natsuki." The Kyoto-ben is pained.

A pause.

"Well, it appears I have little choice. Miss Natsuki, if you ah, and Miss Shizuru would seat yourselves, I believe we should get to the heart of this matter. That is, if Miss Shizuru has no objections?"

"Of course not Tetsuo-senpai."

"Excellent."

A tense silence falls as there comes the twin sounds of furniture softly creaking at new weight.

"Ah, Miss Shizuru…" The older voice is hesitant and yet trying to hide its amusement.

"Yes, Tetsuo-senpai?" The innocent tone brings to mind unmelted butter in the speaker's mouth.

"Is it…really necessary to sit that…closely to Miss Natsuki?"

"Mou, I did not know Tetsuo-sensei would be so cruel as to deny my Natsuki the comfort of my…body." The teasing purr is obvious.

There is a loud, high-pitched yelp, as though a startled puppy has been stood on.

"Now, now Natsuki, I may _accidentally_ fall on you if you don't stop moving…"

"Shi-_Shizuru_!"

Somehow the light-hearted teasing gradually relieves the room of its almost-painful tension.

Dead-pan; "Well, if both of you are quite _comfortable_…" A polite pause. "In that case, I have a question for Miss Natsuki."

"**What**." The tone radiates subdued hostility.

"Forgive me for asking Miss Natsuki, but may I enquire about your home situation? Do you live with your parents?"

"What has that got to do with anything!"

"Natsuki, please cooperate with Tetsuo-senpai…"

A tired sigh.

"…Fine." A short breath. "My mother…died…when I was six. Happy?"

"I am sorry for your loss, Miss Natsuki."

A cynical snort.

"Tch. Whatever."

"And your father?"

Silence.

"It's alright Natsuki…" Whispers a soft voice lovingly.

A sigh.

"He…he left afterwards. Found another woman. I don't know if they were seeing each other before she died."

"I see. What happened then? Who looked after you?"

"I don't need anyone to look after me! I can take care of myself!"

"I don't doubt your ability to do so _now_, but back then you were only a child. All children need love, care and attention. They need adults to protect them as well."

"Well _I_ didn't! I got along without _**him**_ just fine!"

"Are you though?"

"Wha-?"

"All this anger, all this pain…are you truly '_fine_', Miss Natsuki? Or is this precisely what is causing you heartache now?"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking-"

"Tell me Miss Natsuki, how many people you've cared for since both your parents left? How many friends you've had? How many people have loved you? How many people _you've_ loved?"

"Shut up! I have friends –Mai and Mikoto! And I have _Shizuru_!"

"So you do." The calm voice agrees. "I believe you love Miss Shizuru a great deal, do you not?"

"That's none of your damn business!"

"On the contrary, you have _made_ it my business. Bursting in on a private session in such a disrespectful manner, flinging accusations of gross misconduct carelessly around without thought to the consequences. You have stepped into my realm, therefore you must abide by my rules. And unfortunately, they include getting to the heart of this 'damn business'." A fortifying breath. "Now. It doesn't take much to see that you seem to be very reluctant to acknowledge emotional attachment to others-"

"I don't know what you-"

"More distressingly, you even seem to have difficulty in recognising your _own_ emotions. No, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that you _refuse_ to recognise them." A thoughtful pause. "To be fair, that is not through any fault of your own, however. The absence of stable parental influence is most likely the cause. You appear to believe separating yourself from your emotions protects you from being hurt by people, am I close?"

A speechless silence.

"It is not healthy to be so disconnected from your emotions. Humans are social creatures, Miss Natsuki, much the same as wolves, chimpanzees and dolphins. Even rats need social interactions, despite people's misconceptions about them. They all need to feel, need to care and they need to _love_ –it ensures the survival of their species, you see? It makes them stronger; gives them the purpose and strength they need to fight -to survive."

"You're crazy." The words are spoken with flat conviction.

A deep, controlled sigh.

"You miss my point. Feeling emotion –feeling love– is not a weakness as you seem to perceive it." A barely audible intake of breath. "The love you feel for Shizuru makes you **stronger**."

"I love Shizuru as a _friend_!"

There is an awkward, pained pause.

"I see. You have two other friends you mentioned, did you not?"

"Ah, uh yeah?" The younger voice seems confused by the switch in focus. "Mai and Mikoto."

"Well then you must love them the same as you do, Miss Shizuru, isn't that correct? After all, they are your _friends_."

"I-well, I mean no, not _exactly_…" The younger voice sounds uneasy at the way its logic is being used against it.

"Indeed? That is intriguing. Might you explain why not?"

A resentful silence.

"Please, Miss Natsuki. Humour me."

"…Just…it's…Shizuru…she –she _sees_ me." A sharp bark of unamused laughter. "I can't…ever…hide _anything_ from her. It's like she, well…I mean…" The verbal fumblings become even more stilted; "It's calm. Around her. I can…breathe. Relax. Even when she, ah, teases me…I know…I _know_, she's always…got my back." Hushed; "She…is my precious person…"

"Natsuki…" The usually serene younger voice sounds muffled, as though its owner is pressing their face against something –or someone. "…is also my precious person."

A few moments pass, until the older voice cuts in, politely ignoring the moment.

"And what of your other friends?"

"Hmh? Oh. They're…fun. Make me laugh. They've…helped…me a lot and I can trust them to watch my back. I…I like hanging out with them."

"I see. That seems to be quite a dramatic _difference_ in emotion, wouldn't you say Miss Natsuki?"

"Whatever." The younger voice feigns indifference.

"In fact, I believe I would go so far to say that it is probably the strongest _positive_ feeling you have held for another person since your parents -am I close?"

"Hnh."

The calm voice continues as though a proper reply has been given. "But regardless, your mind still labelled her as a 'friend' didn't it?"

"She _**is**_ my friend!" The indifference cracks.

The older voice placidly ignores the outburst. "And therefore I would conclude that the emotions you felt for her were also labelled 'friend'."

"I love Shizuru as a friend!"

"No Miss Natsuki. You are _**in love**_ with Shizuru, who is your friend. You already **know** this. Why else would you be concerned with whom Miss Shizuru associates herself, especially assuming her intentions were of a romantic nature."

Silence.

"N-Natsuki…I…You…?" The voice is laced with confusion and tremulous hope.

A longer silence.

"…I...that's…Shizuru…I'm…I'm so sorry…I didn't…I didn't mean to hurt you…"

There come the sounds of harsh, trembling breathing, as though someone is trying to choke down some strong emotion.

"Don't cry, Natsuki." The Kyoto-ben is filled with awestruck joy. "Please don't cry. I-" The voice cracks for a moment. "I love Natsuki too. So very much."

"Don't…don't leave Shizuru! Please don't ever leave me…I d-don't want anyone to leave me a-again…I-I" Then, in barely a whisper; "I love you."

For a moment, it seems as the entire room pauses, not a breath nor sound disturbs it.

Then there is a shaky exhalation, close to a sob, or perhaps a laugh.

"Natsuki." The Kyoto drawl utters softly, the wonder and joy coming across clearly despite only voicing a single word.

"I love y-you, Shizuru." The younger voice repeats, sounding stronger, despite the shakiness disrupting its speech. "Just, just don't l-leave me…"

"I will never leave Natsuki by choice." The steel in the tone doesn't seem to be directed at anyone in particular, but is still clearly a solemn vow nonetheless. The harsh breathing seems to increase in frequency, though now relief colours the sounds.

"I– need to…use the bathroom…" The younger voice finally stammers after several long minutes, obviously embarrassed by the display of 'weakness'.

"Of course, you'll find it past the reception and on your first left. Ask Ms. Saki if you are unsure." The older voice volunteers.

"R-right…"

"Does Natsuki wish me to accompany her?" A note of anxiety present in the deceptively placid voice.

"I'm okay Shizuru. _I'm_ not going to run away either." A shaky smile is almost audible in the younger voice.

"Ara, Natsuki is so _innocent_…" A seductive purr teases.

"Hmh? Why else would you want to come-?! Eh!? O-oi, Shizuru!!" The voice shouts loudly, the tears forgotten for a moment. "N-not in front of…" It trails off.

"But of course, my Natsuki. Later would be more…_private_…after all…"

"S-Shizuru!" Yelps the voice again, promptly stumbling noisily out the room and slamming the door.

A chuckle is released, the sound one of pure happiness.

"Well, it appears Miss Natsuki provides you with much more sport than I do." Notes the older voice, somewhat dryly.

"Ara –is Tetsuo-sensei _jealous_?"

"Ah, you have found me out Miss Shizuru." The voice dead-pans drolly, then continues more seriously; "It is good to see you really smile." A pause. "Can you believe that you are truly forgiven now? Do you believe Miss Natsuki could really love a monster who delights in causing people pain? Who is not deserving of forgiveness?"

"…No. Natsuki couldn't."

"You must also forgive yourself, Miss Shizuru. It is clear Miss Natsuki will be a source of great support you in the weeks to come, but I believe it is still important –now more so than before, perhaps– for you to continue your sessions with me." The voice suggests sincerely. "Insecurities do not disappear over night. Nor does guilt. You must learn to control and channel the strength of your emotion; to _not_ make the same mistakes **again**."

"You…are correct, Tetsuo-senpai."

A reflective silence.

"Oh, and Miss Shizuru?"

"Senpai?"

"Be gentle with Miss Natsuki. Blushing so much must be detrimental to one's health."

"Mou, Tetsuo-senpai ikezu…" Pouts the younger voice mischievously.

The door opens.

"Shizuru?"

"Tetsuo-senpai was being cruel to me, Natsuki…"

"Yeah **right**." Snorts the younger voice cynically, sounding much calmer.

There is a cautious knock at the door.

"Yes?" Calls the composed voice.

The door slowly swings open again.

"Tetsuo-senpai?"

"Ms. Saki? Is there a problem?"

"I didn't want to interrupt you, Tetsuo-senpai…but you've overrun by thirty-five minutes –and Yoyuki-san is getting ah, _difficult_ to put off." The prim voice turns a bit disdainful. "Especially after she saw, ah, this young **lady** leave and enter again…."

"Our apologies for taking up so much of your time, Tetsuo-senpai." Interjects the smooth Kyoto drawl. "We will let you get on with your day. Natsuki? Wasn't there something you wished to say to Tetsuo-senpai?"

"Uh, no?"

"_Natsuki_." Behind the playfulness lies a warning.

A sigh.

"Sorry for barging in like that." A pause. "And calling you 'grandma'."

"Apology accepted. But please, next time if you feel the desire to visit me, make an appointment beforehand."

"Tch. Whatever…"

"It was very nice to meet you too, Miss Natsuki. Miss Shizuru, I believe we made important progress today. Please make an appointment with Ms. Saki on your way out."

"Ookini Tetsuo-senpai. For everything."

"Later."

"Take care, both of you. Ms. Saki –see them to the door and then show Mrs. Yoyuki in when I call for her, please."

"Of course, Tetsuo-senpai."

The closes finally, leaving the room in silence.

"Good luck Miss Shizuru…" The older voice murmurs softly.

Rather abruptly, a harsh ringing of a telephone breaks the mood.

"Hello?"

A pause.

"Ah, I was wondering when _you _were going to contact me. Mr. Yamada, wasn't it?" The voice sounds vaguely cautious. "I must confess, this has all been highly irregular, not to mention bordering dangerously on breach of practice."

A surprisingly undignified snort follows.

"Yes, well I wasn't presented with much alternative by your…_associates_…was I?"

Another pause.

"Yes, she came here. Though I was led to believe you would contact me when she was ready to confront me."

A dry laugh.

"Ah, well that would explain a great deal."

An even drier laugh.

"Yes, she made quite an…entrance. What exactly was it you said to her? She appeared quite ready to throttle me."

A frustrated sigh.

"No, of course I didn't let Ms. Saki call the police."

Silence.

"Not at all, Mr. Yamada. However, I must **insist **that you leave me and my affairs well enough alone from this point forward. I cannot afford to have such shady people connected to my practice. Keeping my therapist's licence as technically a foreigner is difficult enough without drawing unwarranted suspicion to myself."

A surprised laugh.

"Yes, she was a bit perturbed by my 'perceptiveness' -your information was invaluable. I was surprised at how easy it was to read her, however. I imagine she must be a poor poker player."

Pause, then slowly; "You must care for her a great deal."

Longer pause, then somewhat kindly; "I see. I am afraid the details of the session are strictly confidential, Mr. Yamada…but yes. She looked very happy. They both did."

* * *

**End.**


End file.
